Taking it easy is not so easy

6 1/2 months pregnant expecting a baby boy, the excitement is powerful but the waiting game is catching up to me.  I went from skating almost 4 times a week with working out at the gym 1-2 times a week. I miss it all, I feel like a slug. I am limited because I get round ligament pain easily plus I partially tore my ACL a week before I found out I was pregnant in a bout. As happy as I am to be a mom again a little depression sinks in sometimes. I miss derby, every last thing about it. The only thing I can really do is to continue to support my league, NSO and watch derby any change I can get. Thank jeebus playoffs and champs are on for the next month. I try and keep my mind fresh to the game. Letting every little skill and move I see sink into my brain, if I can't physically prepare right now I will just have to mentally prepare.

I have learned a lot sitting on the sidelines but I a SO tired of watching, waiting....

After I left for my LOA it seemed my team started to drop like flies.  Three key players decided to quit (personal issues) and other seemed to be getting injured. This led to newbies becoming A-Team players over night. The team I took a break from wasn't there anymore, we worked so so hard to get our rankings up. The sacrifices, the growth and comrodery seemed to disappear, I was heart broken. Will we ever just get it together and make it stick? Will people learn how to get their head out of their asses and remember why they tried out in the first place?? I guess my heart is in it a little more than others but no matter how pissed off or hurt I may be I still show up to practice and work my ass off.  This a tough sport filled with tough women, mentally and physically. Take the crying somewhere else. Complaining about petty things will get you nothing, pick and choose your battles, if you don't like the way something is done, create a solution and stop being part of the problem. This isn't high school, we don't form clicks and talk about each other behind their back...say it to their face, they are your teammate. 

I sit here trying to not let a lot of things get to me, I am pregnant but when you are so passionate about something you just can't help it. I want to shake some people and give them a good slap. Oh well, my focus is somewhere else or needs to be. So for now I just wait and observe EVERYTHING.